1. |
Sarge
03:30
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It was the best place on Earth, in between wars
There were playoffs all year and light beer in the stores
We had barbecue sauce coming out of our pores
And we balled it up and threw it all away
I'm not proud of what I did but I did survive
I did what I had to do to keep my family alive
We marched out of Howard County like hornets from a hive
And we blew those invaders away
Iowa warriors, pick up your feet
Everyone's gonna come to know you now
My name is Matt or Mike or maybe it's Dave
The country I grew up in could not be saved
And if I can't be safe I can at least be brave
You know sometimes I still surprise myself
It was the best place on Earth when I was small
I used to watch Tom and Jerry and play foozball
Now my hometown is gone and I'm extra large
If you need to call me anything, call me Sarge
We'll get ready for the next attack
And I swear I'll always have your back
Iowa warriors, pick up your feet
Everyone's gonna come to know you now
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2. |
Buckeyes
03:19
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Camo, steel boots, friends from my online groups
Selfie at a truck stop, remember this day
Going 80 on 80 with the sunrise in my eyes
I knew this AK'd be useful someday
I'm right, I know, and I always hated
the Steelers anyway
All of the guns of Ohio to the Pennsylvania border
Ride ride ride
We'll have our fun 'til the battles are won
And the whole world becomes Buckeyes
Firefight, goin' nuts, blood on the donuts
When PA falls, Michigan is next
We're righteous, I know, and always fated
to show the world the way
All of the guns of Ohio to the Pennsylvania border
Ride ride ride
We'll have our fun 'til the battles are won
And the whole world becomes Buckeyes
Hands in the air!
Mercy you got me please don't shoot me
I'm a poor boy from Cleveland a hundred miles from home.
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3. |
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When Alabama bombed itself it kinda made sense
And when Missouri built a border wall it was more like a fence
For what they say Las Vegas did there was no evidence
But when Berkeley bombed Brooklyn, I really took offense
When Ohio took Indiana, I must admit I felt some pride
And when Boston bombed Austin, I think I only sighed
When they built those camps in Florida, I just felt numb inside
But when Berkeley Bombed Brooklyn, I hung my head and cried.
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4. |
Ticking Tom
03:30
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It's an all out brawl between Minneapolis and St. Paul
This here ain't high school football
It's total war and the winner breaks all
Did the maneuvers on the frozen lake
I'll give you a name that is fake
But I'm for real son, make no mistake
I am Ticking Tom
And I will not be ground down by you
I'll not think what you want me to
Your truth is not my king
You can't make me do the right thing
I'd rather burn the country down
Than give one inch of mental ground
And when the ruins are smouldering
My freedom will ring
Tom time is now
You know I don't even care
Half my family lives in Eau Claire
They disrespected me for years, now the winner is clear
You know it's inevitable
Steam builds up and it has to blow
I want everyone in this Wallmart to know
I am Ticking Tom
And I will not be ground down by you
I'll not think what you want me to
Your truth is not my king
You can't make me do the right thing
I'd rather burn the country down
Than give one inch of mental ground
And when the ruins are smoldering
My freedom will ring
Tom time is now.
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5. |
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Steaming hot tea, papers to grade
A professor alone scrolling my phone
There's violence out on the street
I think that it's kind of neat
Surely birthing a pure new world
Is worth what it's costing
For the People's Republic of Austin
I once wrote that they are wrong
Now I know they are strong
To build a better world for all
Some people have to fall
Revolution is the cake
and justice is the frosting
In the People's Republic of Austin
The people they will rise, like they always should
It seems dark now
But I think it's the start of something good
In the back of a van, black bag over my head
The tribunal found my blue notebook
And I know what they read
Yes that's something I did write
Before the people showed me the light
We must be willing to back in purity's oven
Revolution is the cake and justice is the frosting
In the People's Republic of Austin
I once wrote that they are wrong
Now I know they are strong
To build a better world for all
Some people have to fall
Revolution is the cake
and justice is the frosting
In the People's Republic of Austin
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6. |
Fake War
02:30
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There's no soldiers in Boulder, open your eyes
The media's feeding ya a diet of lies
But there's peace in this pizza place
There's snack food on the shelf
The elite are misleading ya, think for yourself
If there's no war here, there's no war anywhere
There's no battle in Seattle, set your mind free
Stop being led around like cattle and repeat after me
If there's no war here, there's no war anywhere
Fake War!
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7. |
Lullaby of the 1 Percent
01:03
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Shusshy shush little baby, sleep some more
There's always some storm, there's always some war
But your daddy is rich and your mom is rich too
Nothing bad will ever happen to you
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8. |
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We can watch them bombing Manhattan
From our loft on the 33rd floor
The bridges are locked and the tunnels are blocked
There's no doorman left at our door
We used to have so much fun
Before we had the cash to live here
It's quiet and clean if you know what I mean
But it has no atmosphere
I don't want to die in Midtown
In a comfortable conference room chair
We're dying on the Upper West Side
Let's go Downtown and die there
We can walk past the New Jersey soldiers
Glaring on Avenue A
Maybe our friends can meet us
like they used to do back in the day
I don't want to die in Soho
And please anywhere but Times Square
We're dying on the Upper West Side
Let's go Downtown and die there
The felafel's not as good up in heaven
The bands aren't as loud up in hell
There's trash everywhere but I swear the air
Has an intelligent smell
But all I smell now is destruction
And that's not nearly as nice
Let's go to our spot where the power is out
And drink up the last of the ice
We're dying on the Upper West Side
Let's go Downtown and die there
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9. |
I Cry Uncles
03:03
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I was always good at first person shooters
When the army found my high score online
I was told by my high school recruiters
They needed me to get the states back into line
And I turned 17 in the Tennessee mountains
Firing drones at militia in caves
Like a teenage dad to middle aged children
There must be consequences for how you behave
And I cry uncles why
Uncles why?
We always fight wars started by our parents
Usually against other youth
I cry uncles why'd you do this
In the name of some twisted glitchy version of the truth?
So if i have your Uncle Chris in my crosshairs
From a VR headset 100 miles away
Just remember he made his decision
It wasn't me and my friends who made it go this way
And I cry uncles why
Uncles why?
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10. |
Pol Pothead
03:46
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I was always good at first person shooters
When the army found my high score online
I was told by my high school recruiters
They needed me to get the states back into line
And I turned 17 in the Tennessee mountains
Firing drones at militia in caves
Like a teenage dad to middle aged children
There must be consequences for how you behave
And I cry uncles why
Uncles why?
We always fight wars started by our parents
Usually against other youth
I cry uncles why'd you do this
In the name of some twisted glitchy version of the truth?
So if i have your Uncle Chris in my crosshairs
From a VR headset 100 miles away
Just remember he made his decision
It wasn't me and my friends who made it go this way
And I cry uncles why
Uncles why?
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11. |
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Why won't the President Tweet?
It's the hour of our greatest need
Ohio's Emperor tweeted
That the feds have retreated
But the story is far from complete
Why won't the President Tweet
The country's in ruins at her feet
The Emperor's tweeting
What I cannot repeat
Why won't the President Tweet?
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12. |
Deep Gap #2
03:27
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I've got a home in that rock don't you see
Like a postmodern stone-age family
Me my three girls and a dog named Dinah
Where what was once Deep Gap, North Carolina
I've got a home in that rock don't you see
We've been here since last January
Cave living's not what it's cracked up to be
Hot in the sun and freezing in the winter
Wash our Gore-Tex jackets in the river
We've been here since last January
The grasshoppers ate all our wheat
But these purple berries can't be beat
Nearest pizza's closed since last nuclear winter
It's a drag they no longer deliver
The grasshoppers ate all our wheat
I dreamed of a city of gold
Everybody doing what they're told
Feeding slot machines with uranium quarters
Playing Russian roulette with the Founding Fathers
in a lead plated city of gold
This firecracker blew up in my hand
I wanted more winning than I could stand
Not 10,000 candlelight games of Scrabble
and sour hard cider made from wild crabapples
This firecracker blew up in my hand
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13. |
Let's All Get Along
03:07
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Their commercial begins on a wide country road
A U.S. soldier is walking, carrying her load
She walks up to the gate of her old country home
And there's her big sister in an Ohio uniform
Nobody speaks, nobody cries
We can see the mistrust and the fear in their eyes
Then right on cue, little sis comes in sight
With two cold Oh, Hi! Colas to make everything right
Let's all get along, and here is why
We're still united by what's bottled inside
No matter who you meet, Oh, Hi! is how you greet
Refreshing our bonds makes us strong
Let's all get along
They cut to a table, a holiday meal
Everyone's feeling the best things to feel
Mama raises up her soda, we hear glasses cling
They close up on the sisters as they start to sing
Let's all get along, and here is why
We're still united by what's bottled inside
No matter where you stand, Oh, Hi! is our brand
Refreshing our bonds makes us strong
Let's all get along
And I watch it in my kitchen on a flat TV screen
Next to two empty stools
Where my boys should still be
It's been another long day, it'll be another long night
So I crush my Oh, Hi! can and turn out the light.
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14. |
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I was there when the armistice was signed by all the tribes
All of old America was there in Buckeye Stadium that night
And the marching band spelled the cursive word "Ohio"
And Kanye was the dot in the i
And my spirit did fly
Under a sky lit by purple drones we ate supersize fries
And everybody got along just fine it was just like old times
And Dolly Parton sang I will always love you
And 300,000,000 people sang it too
I can talk about that night all night
I can talk about that night until your ears are sore
But I don't talk about the war
At the moment the United States of Ohio was born
Obama got up on Elon Musk's shoulders and blew an airhorn
You could hear the cheering in Columbus from Saskatoon
On that first 14th of June
So I made it on back home to Des Moines
Rebuilt our house with a little stashed away bitcoin
And if I see my enemy buying beer in the grocery store
I will tolerate and ignore, I will ignore
I can talk about why all night
I can talk about why until your ears are sore
But I don't talk about the war
Everyone's gonna get together
Everyone's gonna be together
Everyone's gonna get together
Everyone's gonna be together
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